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“Gender-neutral washrooms in schools promote inclusivity (and) reduce bullying and discrimination based on gender,” said trustee Alexis Dawson, adding they offer “a safe and private space for all students” and help create a more accepting environment.

There are moms and dads who support this, and some who are indifferent. But a group representing roughly 125 parents in the elementary school say kids have peeked beneath stall doors and kicked them while girls are inside, and a boy once exposed himself to a girl. They also say the washrooms, which have only toilets and no urinals, are dirty because urine is left on seats, with boys suspected of being the main culprits. And, they say the current setup can be uncomfortable for menstruating girls who need to unwrap a sanitary napkin or tampon within earshot of boys.

Muslim parents feel their religion isn’t being respected because a Muslim girl cannot remove her hijab in front of males — something she may do as part of wudu, a purification ritual that is performed before prayers, which includes washing the face.

The group of parents at this school, with about 550 students in kindergarten to Grade 8, say they’re not opposed to gender-neutral washrooms — they just want one set of multi-stall washrooms transformed, so that one is available for anyone identifying as male, and the other for those who identify as female.

“That is truly an inclusive environment where every single child in the school has a choice, and nobody is forced to do anything and nobody is afraid,” said one mother, noting kids are particularly vulnerable in washrooms because they’re unsupervised.

The Star spoke with about 10 frustrated parents who asked not to be identified because they fear possible repercussions, in part because this involves gender identity issues and they don’t want to be perceived as discriminating against anyone.

Parents divided on issue

Scott MacMillan, the father of a boy in senior kindergarten, has no problem with exclusively gender-neutral washrooms. When he was growing up, there were always gendered washrooms, but “the world is a different place now,” he said, noting many restaurants and public spaces have gender-neutral facilities.

While safety is a concern for some parents, he said, “if there is a safety issue, then deal with the safety issue. It’s not a gendered or non-gendered bathroom issue.”

“We, as parents and educators, have to teach our kids how to behave in social situations. And part of that is about how to use these common facilities.”

MacMillan believes those opposed to the current setup are a minority, adding “most of the parents I’ve talked to couldn’t care less.” He’s not aware of anything troubling that has occurred in the washrooms, and suspects there’s “a lot of worry about what could potentially happen. But I think a lot of it is being overblown.”

Overall, the parent community is split on the issue, says Izabela Melon, co-chair of the school council at Jean Lumb, which is near Spadina Avenue and Lake Shore Boulevard West.

“As a council, we have chosen to remain neutral on non-gendered washrooms because we have heard many conflicting perspectives within our community,” said Melon in an email to the Star. “Many do not share concerns this group has raised around the non-gendered multi- and single-stall washrooms: Some are indifferent; some are vehemently opposed to making a change; some are proud that our school follows progressive guidelines; some feel their concerns have been addressed with steps taken or proposed by the school.”

Dawson, the trustee for Ward 9 (Spadina—Fort York and Davenport), is aware of the parents’ worries, but feels they are trying to maintain “an antiquated view on gender,” noting the kids don’t have a problem with the gender-neutral washrooms.

“What is gender? What is gender expression and identity? It’s not simply boys and girls,” she told the Star. “Universal washrooms honour all identities and gender expression without students having to justify their identities in order to use one gender or another’s bathroom.

“To me, that is centring equity in what we’re doing, while also providing the option for people who choose to go in a stand-alone stall for whatever reason.”

The TDSB says it’s taking steps to provide more privacy in these washrooms — and eliminate the peeking — by installing new doors that are taller and closer to the floor, which should be completed before September. (There are cinder-block walls between each stall.) But what the parents want is for kids to have the option of a gender-specific washroom, with one mother saying, “The school is not addressing our concerns. They have been diminished and we have been stonewalled.”

New schools a rarity

To ensure greater comfort when using a restroom, changes to the Ontario Human Rights Code in the last decade have included building-code standards for single-user facilities in new buildings and renovations. As a result, the pc28����District School Board has worked to increase the number of gender-neutral washrooms in its schools, which are typically stand-alone.

Although the board has introduced this new model at Jean Lumb, it has no plans to get rid of designated boys’ and girls’ washrooms at its other schools — transforming boys’ facilities into gender-neutral spaces would require getting rid of urinals.

TDSB spokesperson Ryan Bird says it’s rare that the board builds new schools, and the construction of Jean Lumb “provided an opportunity to create a more inclusive environment for students, while maintaining access to stand-alone single-user washrooms for those that require them.”

As to whether exclusively gender-neutral washrooms are the way of the future for new TDSB school buildings, Bird said: “Staff are considering possible changes to design standards for washrooms moving forward, however no final decision has been made.”

The concerned parents at Jean Lumb say they’re upset the TDSB didn’t consult them about the school having only gender-neutral washrooms, with one saying it feels like they’re part of a social experiment of sorts. The TDSB says that because this was a brand new school on a new site, there were no formal discussions with parents and guardians about washrooms, but rather broader community consultations about the school.

Two schools share building

The school opened in January 2020 and is part of a multi-use facility that also includes a child-care centre, a community centre, and a Catholic elementary school. The Canoe Landing Community Recreation Centre has only non-gendered washrooms. Meanwhile, the attached Bishop Macdonell Catholic Elementary School offers separate boys’ and girls’ multi-stall washrooms, along with gender-neutral stand-alone facilities.

At Jean Lumb, the first floor has kindergarten classes — each with its own washroom — and a stand-alone washroom for any student to use at any time. On each of the second and third floors, where grades 1 to 8 students learn, there are two multi-stall washrooms and one stand-alone in between them. The stand-alone washrooms on the second and third floors are open to students who wear a hijab and would like additional privacy.

The father of a girl in Grade 1 says his daughter was in a washroom when a boy exposed his penis to her. “I want my daughter to go to school in a safe environment,” he said.

The mother of a girl in Grade 5 said her daughter recently started menstruating and “fears that other boys, or whoever, can come in while she’s trying to have a private moment, especially since this is also new to her with her body changing.” Meanwhile, she says her son was in the stall when an older girl started pushing against the stall door and tried to look underneath.

Both her children, she says, are uncomfortable using a multi-stall washroom and now just use the stand-alone one — and if it’s occupied, they hold it until they get home. “My main concern is my kids feeling safe at school, and right now they don’t.”

One mother says her daughter in Grade 1 has told her that the boys play a game to see who can get more urine on the seats and that she sends the girl to school with disinfectant wipes, adding, “She has to clean a toilet at school — this is completely unacceptable.”

Another mom, also reported hygiene concerns, noting her daughter, also in Grade 1, comes home and requests to take a shower because the school toilet seats are dirty.

The TDSB says the school has a good caretaking team that regularly checks and cleans the washrooms.