Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist for the Star and based in Toronto. Send her relationship questions via email: lisi@thestar.ca
Why is it so often we come up against people who are terrible at communicating, especially when they are in customer service or front office positions? I recently had to let go two new hires because they were incompetent at speaking, and making arrangements, and both were front of house at my office.
To be clear, I didn’t do the hiring or firing, but I would never have hired these people in the first place. One would make appointments confirming times but not dates. The email chain would go back and forth with the customer asking repeatedly, “Yes, but what day?” Only once I was cc’d did I get involved, but then I went back through the emails and saw the blatant lack of communication skills.
The second had similar issues, unable to use a calendar — paper and online — and set up appointments for my customers. Again, thankfully, I was cc’d and made it happen. Without my intervention, I would have lost those clients.
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Frustrated
Not everyone is as detail-oriented as you sound. That’s OK — unless they work for you, or in a situation where the details matter greatly. Obviously when setting up appointments, date and time are crucial, so you are not wrong to remove those people from that position. Their inability could have cost you customers and that’s not what you need or want in an employee.
Talk to your hiring department and insist that they understand what skills you require for the job posted. Remember also that there’s a learning curve with every new phone system, computer system and every office works differently. Have patience, compassion and kindness — but not to the detriment of your business.
I recently fell and broke my leg. It’s been a trying time as I was initially in a cast up to my thigh. I’m still in university, but I was able to move back home and finish my semester online. My profs were very understanding, and my roommates were very helpful in getting me packed up for the summer and excusing me from the end of the semester clean up.
Shockingly, my girlfriend is not that understanding or sympathetic. We go to school in different provinces and were looking forward to spending the summer together, at different jobs, but in the same city. I was also supposed to attend an end-of-year event with her, which I couldn’t get to. She took someone else, a good friend, and had a great time. Instead of feeling sad — for both of us that I couldn’t go — she was angry and unkind.
She was also supposed to come and spend a week with me, post-exams, which we also had to cancel. I thought she would come home that week instead so we could be together, but she opted to go across the country to see other friends.
Now she’s home but she hasn’t come over more than twice the first week she got back, and she wasn’t that loving or sympathetic.
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What did I do wrong?
Broken
Sounds to me like you did nothing wrong other than hurt yourself. Your girlfriend is the one doing something wrong by not being kind, loving, sympathetic or helpful. If, in the scheme of life, a small thing like a broken bone is too hard for her to handle, then she’s not the person you want to spend your life with. Life is a roller coaster of small dips, big wins, and even bigger losses. You want to find someone who can ride it out with you.
I have a feeling this relationship isn’t going to last much longer.
FEEDBACK Regarding the children’s shovels (Feb. 20):
Reader: “Your reader asked the woman where she ‘found’ the shovels. She may have been misunderstood since that is sometimes used when implying something stolen. Perhaps if she had asked where they could be purchased, as she was looking to buy some as a birthday gift, the response may have been different.
“When someone seems rude, sometimes a calm second look reveals another perspective.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the 16-year-old desperate for her licence (Feb. 26):
Reader: “Having a driver’s licence opens numerous possibilities, and not just for jobs that are primarily driving but many jobs have a requirement for occasional driving duties.
“Most young people who eventually get their drivers licence will face the daunting expense of new-driver car insurance. Being a licensed driver for five years might save considerable insurance premiums when needed at age 21. Driver training is highly recommended and usually provides a discount on insurance.”
Opinion articles are based on the author’s interpretations and judgments of facts, data and events. More details
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist for the Star and based in
Toronto. Send her relationship questions via email: lisi@thestar.ca
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